The Importance of Parallel Play: Why Toddlers Don’t Have to Share to Learn Social Skills

If you’ve ever watched a group of toddlers play side-by-side without talking much, or if your child has ever screamed “Mine!” when another child got too close, you’re not alone. Many parents worry that their toddler isn't playing “nicely” or doesn’t know how to share. But here's the truth: what looks like disinterest or selfishness is actually a healthy, developmentally appropriate stage of early social development.

This stage is called parallel play, and it’s a key building block in how children ages 1 to 3 begin to understand friendship, communication, and empathy.

What is Parallel Play?

Parallel play happens when two or more children play near each other, often with similar toys, but don’t directly interact. For example, two toddlers might sit side-by-side each building their own block tower or driving their own toy cars without really engaging with one another.

It might not look social, but something powerful is happening.

Why Parallel Play Matters

During parallel play, children are:

• Observing and learning from each other
  They watch how other children use toys, express emotions, and solve problems.

• Practicing independence in a shared space
  They're building confidence to be around peers while still feeling safe in their own play.

• Beginning to understand social boundaries
  They’re learning that other people have thoughts, space, and preferences, an early step toward empathy and cooperation.

This type of play lays the groundwork for cooperative play, which comes later (usually around age 3–4).

“But My Toddler Won’t Share!”

That’s okay, and normal! Sharing requires a level of impulse control, empathy, and communication that toddlers are still developing. Instead of forcing sharing in moments of high emotion, try these approaches:

• Use a timer for turn-taking: “You can play with the truck for two more minutes, then it’s Alex’s turn.”

• Narrate and validate their experience: “It’s hard to wait when you really want a toy. You’ll get a turn soon.”

• Model sharing in your own actions and language.

When children feel safe and seen, they become more willing to take turns naturally over time.

How to Support Social Growth at Every Stage

Here are a few things you can do to support your child’s growing social skills:

• Set up playdates or playgroup time—even if the kids just play side-by-side.

• Offer duplicate toys when possible to reduce conflict.

• Name emotions as they arise: “You’re feeling frustrated because you want the doll back.”

• Celebrate cooperation, even in small moments: “You both built towers next to each other—that’s teamwork!”

In Conclusion

Don’t stress if your child isn’t “playing with” other kids yet. Parallel play is not a step to skip, it's a stepping stone toward friendship, communication, and healthy social development. By giving your child the space to grow at their own pace, you’re doing exactly what they need to thrive.